Homegrown
Bringing homegrown humor from deep in the heart of Texas to the worldwide web!
Flying Cat Tale
(submitted by BLC on 4/21/2012)
A little grey kitty from Dale
Had a kite at the end of his tail.
So when the wind blew
The kitty flew too,
And that was the way he caught Quail.
If You have a Freshly- Created Joke, Limerick, Poem or Riddle for this page--You can Submit it in the lowermost box on the Submit page!
Spud Offspring Riddle
(submitted by JW on 4/22/2012)
Q: What do you call a Baby Potato?
A: Tater Tot. Tater Tot also got a brother named Small Fry.
Footwear Fruit Riddle/Pun
(submitted by BLC on 5/1/2012)
Q: What kind of fruit do you create when you mate two socks?
A: A Pear.
B.O.'s Pit Bar B Q Riddle
(taken from Barack Obama on 4/28/2012)[see more on blog]
Q: What's the difference between a hockey mom and a Pit Bull?
A: A Pit Bull is delicious... A little soy sauce...
A Cat Tail Tale
(submitted by GC on 5/2/2012)
Why goes Sir Kitty a-flaunting his tail?
He swishes and wags it, all to no avail.
Had he one brain there, he might go to Yale,
Or use it perfecting escape from a jail.
Maybe for balance, deceiving a quail,
Adding a hanky deployed as a sail,
Covering face as a shield from the hail...
Many fine uses for such a great tail.
A splendid appendage now dark and now pale...
He covers his arse using tail for a veil...
To clean it and preen it, he never does fail...
What a wonder of nature, that cat and his tail!
Thank you site contributors! More to come ASAP.
Stylish Amphibious Reptile Punny Riddle
Submitted by GC in early June, 2012
Q: What do you call a trendy amphibious reptile stylishly clad in an ornate sleeveless garment?
A: InVestiGator!!!
Aggressive Amphibious Reptile Riddle
Submitted by BLC(assisted by GC) in early June, 2012
Q: What would you call an aggressive amphibious reptile with a demonstrated tendency for pursuing entities too closely at an unsafe velocity?
A: TailGator!!!
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
The Mafia is laying off judges.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 billion disappear is
being investigated by the people who made $1.5 trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and
our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan .
When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Barack Obamanomics
Submitted by JB in June, 2012. Writer unknown.
